Meredith O'Hayre: The Scream Queen's Survival Guide

Avoid machetes, defeat evil children, steer clear of bloody dismemberment, and conquer other horror movie clichés
Horror movie fans know: danger lurks around every corner, locker room, and strange new neighbor. And as every slasher addict knows, the last known survivor is always The Scream Queen.
In this guide, you’ll learn 150 life-or-death lessons that Jamie Lee, Neve, and Jennifer Love learned on screen--without the pain of dismemberment. You owe it to yourself to master the scream queen’s rules of survival, including:

• Be wary of days that begin "much like any other" (it’s all downhill from there)
• Keep that playlist light (no one ever got axed while cuttin’ Footloose)
• Reconsider that roadtrip (or else end up at the mercy of a creepy tow truck driver)
• Keep away from small-town law enforcement (the rent-a-cop always dies)